3 UNEXPECTED things that made baby life difficult

Having a kid is not easy. It will change your life. 

And it should. 

If it doesn’t, you’re probably not doing it right. 

Before my little boy was born, I already knew that it would not be easy to have a baby. I had already mentally prepared for it. 

I was saying to myself “this is going to be hard, life is about to change. You will no longer be thinking of just yourself and your partner.” 

I was preparing myself for changing nappies, sleepless nights, and having my routine completely disrupted. 

The gym will have to take a step back, I will have even less time with my friends, I won’t be able to play soccer every week, etc etc. 

I was preparing myself mentally and physically. 

But, the reality was even harder. 

The things I had prepared for were okay. Setting my expectations so low and being prepared for the “worst” helped me when it was time to get things done. 

However, there were a few things that really hit me hard.

They were (1) not knowing what to do; (2) the constant crying and (3) the constant monitoring.

Explanation for each of these below.

(1) Not knowing what to do was the hardest thing.

There are so many Do’s and Dont’s with a newborn that it becomes overwhelming. The issue is also that every baby is different. So as much as I read, we had to change things to cater to Dylan‘s needs.

How long should he sleep? How much should he poo? How much should he eat? Is he supposed to do this or that? How to clean his bottles properly? And on and on. There were so many different things.

And not knowing what to do about them was extremely stressful.

When Dylan was crying his head off we tried everything. We fed him, tried to put him to sleep, cuddled him, gave him a bath, burped him, and basically every single thing we could think of. And sometimes, non of it worked.

It was painful for us to watch him cry and not be able to help him out.

We would often take him to the doctor to check he’s ok and be told he’s fine (which is a relief but is also annoying as they often didn’t give us a solution we hadn’t already tried).

And if you are an expecting or new parent, I hate to break to you , the “not knowing” part lasts a long time. I write this as Dylan has just turned 15 months and we still find ourselves not knowing a lot of things.

But as I continue on this journey of raising my son, I have realized that this is just part of the journey. I am still learning more everyday. But the good news is that the anxiety definitely subsides after a few months.

(2) The crying was also hard.

The crying was hard because of two things.

The first is that we didn’t know what to do to help your son stop crying. And there is no worse feeling than not know what to do or how to help your baby feel better when he’s crying his head off.

The second part is that the crying is loud AF. I read somewhere that the sound produces the same decibels as the siren of the ambulance, that’s loud. 

It was loud, and would sometimes go on for a while.

But you have to know that babies cannot communicate in any other way but crying. So you best get used to it as much as you can.

(3) The third thing was very unexpected…and it was the constant monitoring.

I’ve heard stories about people that go and check on their baby multiple times to make sure that the baby's breathing.

I did not think that I would do anything of that sort, I thought it was just people being crazy.

However, to my surprise, I was doing that exact thing constantly. I was checking up on Dylan all the time and making sure that he’s breathing.

Making sure that he’s lying down in the right position.

Checking that he is not too hot, but also not too cold.

And basically thinking of every single thing that could go wrong.

This was quite overwhelming.

And it lasted for about six weeks.

As he got older this became less of a concern. But at each stage there will be something to worry about.

This is now just a part of life.