Why I cried today…

I cried today.

I haven’t cried in a while. And I don’t cry often. But today, I cried.

It was 3am in the morning and I was holding my little boy in my arms putting him back to sleep.

Whether it was the sleep deprivation or introspection, it was only a tiny thought that made me sad.

I thought about how one day, my little boy, who is currently 15 months will no longer need me. Will no longer want me around.

Right now, he still needs his daddy (and mommy).

He still wants us. He still likes us and still wants to give us a cuddle.

But one day, in the not-too-distant future, he won’t want us anymore.

He won’t need us.

And that makes me sad.

It makes me sad that he won’t need me one day.

And it makes me sad that I know this day will be here much sooner than I can fathom.

Right now, I’m looking at his little face, his little body, cradled in my arms.

He needs me now, to put him back to sleep. I am his only solace right now. I am the only thing that matters to him.

But I won’t always be.

And because of that, I cry.